Lizzie's Secrets
by Breakabledoll
Summary: Elizabeth tells Jason her secrets - Surprise ! 2 Chapters uploaded.
1. Chapter 1

Title - Lizzie's Secrets Summary - Elizabeth tells Jason her secrets . Authors Note - There is no real time frame . Disclaimer - I own nothing.  
  
Jason sat on the floor holding Elizabeth in his arms , slowly rocking her back and forth as she continued crying , but he also felt tears making there way down his own face , falling into her hair . He thought back at what had brought them to this, they had been talking, that's all just talking when suddenly she asked him if he wanted to hear a secret, at first he had hesitated he saw the look that she had in her eyes, it was haunting it scared the hell out of him, he wasn't sure that he wanted to know her secret but he said yes anyway, now he wished would have told her no.  
  
Elizabeth's voice was low and steady in a way almost childlike , her eyes devoid of any emotion , and her hands folded in her lap as she began to speak , " Sarah and Steven both have blonde hair and hazel eyes , much like mothers , they look a lot like her . Mother and father would tuck them into bed at night and tell them stories and tell them that they loved them , but they never did that for Lizzie , they never told her those things "  
  
Jason stared at her . It didn't escape his attention that she had begun to refer to herself in the third person , almost as if she were talking about someone else , seperating herself from what had happened . He pushed all of this aside and continued to listen to her story .  
  
" Lizzie started to get sick when she was about four years old , her tummy would hurt really badly and she would cry . There was no one to comfort Lizzie so she cried even more . She told her parents and they made her all better , but she didn't stop getting sick in fact it got worse , and her parents were always there to make her all better . Lizzie thought that this meant that they loved her "  
  
Jason was horrified , he knew how the rest of her story would play out , however he let her continue . He pulled her gently into his lap and began to stroke her hair slowly hoping to sooth her as much as possible .  
  
" When Lizzie was thirteen years old she was standing in the doorway to the kitchen watching her mother serve up dinner , when all of the plates had been set out her mother pulled a small baggy out of her pocket , it had a white , powdery substance in it , her mother sprinkled it onto her food and mixed it around a bit . That night after dinner Lizzie was up in her room when she began to feel sick again , but she didn't tell her parents this time , nope she suffered through it , thats when she finally figured out that her parents had been poisoning her since she was a little girl . This made her cry , she knew then that all of the times that her parents made her feel better wasn't because they loved her , no it was because they wanted to look good "  
  
Jason had begun to cry now , his grip on her tightened ,he wanted to take all of her pain away , to find her parents and make them pay for destroying a sweet , innocent little girl , for causing her so much pain , but all he could do right now was offer her his embrace and hope that she would find comfort in it .  
  
" Lizzie would be a good little girl and eat the food that was given to her , but afterwards she would go to the bathroom and promptly throw it all up again . Lizzie never got sick anymore . Her parents began to wonder why she wasn't getting sick anymore , thats when they found out that Lizzie wasn't eating their poisoned food anymore , they got angry at her and she got angry right back at them and accused them of trying to make her sick . Both mother and father wore guilty looks on their faces when they denied it . They moved away shortly after that , they left her in Colorado . Lizzie followed her sister to Port Charles , thats when she became me , Elizabeth , I never got sick again "  
  
Shortly after she finish her telling him her secret she began to cry , and he cried with her holding her trying to make all her pain go away , he knew that her couldn't but he still tried .  
  
After awile they were both sitting in silence when she lifted her headup to look him in the eyes and asked him if he wanted to hear another secret .  
  
Well what do you think ? Please read and reveiw . If you like it then I might add another chapter . This is my first fic and I would really like some feed back : ) 


	2. Chapter 2

Title - Lizzie's Secrets Summary - Elizabeth tells Jason her secrets. A/N - No real time frame, also not all of Lizzie's secrets will be sad. Disclaimer - I own nothing.  
  
Chapter 2 -  
  
When she asked me if I wanted to hear another secret I had to tell her no, that one secret was more than enough for me handle. She asked me why? I told her that this first secret made her sad, that I didn't want to make her sad. Then she asked me how I knew the next secret was going to be sad? , she never waited for my answer, she just turned around and left the room.  
  
That was a week ago, since then we've met for coffee and rides on my bike, we did the same things that we had always done, we worked on rebuilding the friendship that we had lost. Everyday she would ask me if I was ready to hear another secret I never answered her, I couldn't make up my mind, did I really want to know another secret? My answer finally came today when we were walking through the park after meeting at Kelly's for coffee.  
  
They had come across a little dog that was sitting next to one of the benches licking one of his small paws Elizabeth began to approach him when Jason grabbed her arm holding her back cautioning her to be careful, that he might be dangerous Elizabeth simply nodded and laid her hand over his and told him that she would be alright. Slowly she approached the small animal talking to it in soothing tones, reaching out she started stroking its back and the dog started to wag it's tail wildly leaning into her touch.  
  
Elizabeth found the dogs collar which had a name and address attached to it, she scooped him up into her arms handing him off to Jason and took him home to his overjoyed owners who thanked both Elizabeth and Jason profusely. After they arrived back at Elizabeth's studio Jason sat down on the couch and watched Liz move to stare out the window, that's when she asked him again if he wanted to him another secret, this time he told her yes.  
  
TBC...  
  
Thank you to all of those who review. Please continue to tell me what you think. 


	3. Chapter 3

Title - Lizzie's Secrets Summary - Elizabeth tells Jason her secrets. Disclaimer - I own only the computer that this was typed up on.  
  
Chapter 3 -  
  
"I found a pregnant dog once, in an abandoned house at the end of the street that we lived on. I think that it might have been a beagle, but I didn't know that much about animals or dogs so I couldn't tell for sure. She was so soft, pretty, and friendly, she wasn't wearing any tags or anything that might have told me who she belonged to or where she lived so I decided that I would take care of her "  
  
Elizabeth stopped talking and turned around to look at Jason, her eyes roamed over his face and seated form and suddenly she asked him if Jason Quartermain ever had a pet, he told that he didn't as a child but he did tell her about Betsy (A/N I know the Q's had a dog that had puppy's with the Spencer's dog but I can't remember her name.) She nodded her acceptance to his answer and continued.  
  
"I brought her a few old blankets from our closet and some food and water that's about as much as I knew what to do .The next day I went to the library and pulled every book on dogs that I could find to bring home and read, my father saw the books and told me not to get any ideas, that there was no way they were going to let me have a dog, that I could barely keep my own room clean let alone take care of a dog. This made me doubt whether or not I could take care of her, however I decided that someone had to or else something bad might happen to her "  
  
Jason noticed that her voice had taken on the same childlike tone that she had when she told him about her parents, but this time it was more wistful almost happy . Her face reflected the same thing. He decided that this must have been one of the more happy times in her childhood.  
  
"I kept Emma a secret, that's the name that I gave her I thought that she deserved a name so I named her after a Jane Austin character. I stopped by every day after school to check up on her and make sure that she was comfortable. Everyday I did the same thing, I read all of the books on dogs and waited for the day that she would have the puppies. One weekend Emma finally gave birth, I stayed far enough away to not make her nervous but close enough to see what was happening and by Sunday afternoon there were four puppies, they were so tiny and made little yipping sounds, I watched Emma lick them clean and nurse them, it really made me happy to see it"  
  
She was still standing at the window the sun shining on her face, the hint of a smile was playing on her face and her eyes were shining with happiness it was a completely different than the one she had one week ago, yet it was also the same Jason knew that with Elizabeth the bad comes with the good, she could never have both. This brought a frown to his face, he wanted her to have everything good with none of the bad that seemed to follow her. He lifted his head to look at her again and realized that she wouldn't want it any other way, she didn't want to disillusion herself it to believing that the world was perfect. If this made her content then it made him content as well.  
  
"After about six weeks I started to make arrangements to find them good homes, they all went to families that would care for them including Emma, I gave her to an old couple who couldn't care for a small puppy but wanted a dog. No one ever found out about Emma and her puppies, in fact you're the first person that I've ever told"  
  
Elizabeth turned around and sat down on the couch next to Jason and took his hands in hers, looking him in the eyes she gave him a small smile and said see that wasn't to bad was it. Jason returned her smile and shook his head no. No, he decided it wasn't all that bad at all.  
  
TBC...  
  
Well what do you think? Please continue to review and I will continue to write. 


	4. Chapter 4

Title - Lizzie's Secrets Summary - Elizabeth tells Jason her secrets. Disclaimer - I own nothing.  
  
Chapter 4 -  
  
It had been nearly two weeks since she had confessed her secret to him, Jason knew that there was more, he could tell by the look that continued to haunt her eyes, but he didn't ask about it he knew that when it was the right time she would come to him and tell him another one of her secrets. Jason also knew that this next secret would not be good, but like before he understood that with Elizabeth the bad comes with the good, so he began to brace himself for her next secret.  
  
He had no idea why Elizabeth was telling him all of her secrets, but he wasn't going to deny that it made him feel good to know that she was placing this information in his hands and trusting him not to repeat what he was being told. She was trusting him with secrets that she has never told anyone else, things that she had held in her psyche, locked away, either to painful to remember or something that she felt needed to be treasured and kept to herself. Jason knew that because she was telling him her secrets that she was making herself vulnerable to him, he knew that this scared her, she hated being vulnerable to anyone but she was bound and determined to tell him everything.  
  
Elizabeth made it clear to him one day that she understood what she was doing that she knew that she was placing herself out on the line, opening up parts of herself that she had never thought that she would allow herself to do.  
  
"I hate being vulnerable, it feels like my entire life I've been put into a position of weakness by my family, my friends, and now even you, I've put two of my deepest secrets in your hands and you are at will to do as you wish with them, but out of everyone a stranger made me the most vulnerable, a complete and total stranger managed to dominate my every weakness for months."  
  
Elizabeth sat down on the couch in my penthouse and motioned for me to sit down, she managed to put a small amount of distance between us and looking up at me she asked if I was ready to hear another secret.  
  
TBC...  
  
Thank you to all of those who reviewed and even to those who don't. 


	5. Chapter 5

Title - Lizzie's Secrets Summary - Elizabeth tells Jason her secrets. Disclaimer - General Hospital owns the characters.  
  
A/N - This chapter will be rated PG-16 for good measure. This chapter will deal with Lizzie's rape and will also deal with other serious subject matter. Please consider this before you read.  
  
Chapter 5 -  
  
Jason knew that this next secret would have something to do with her rape, he had been waiting for this day he had heard about it and she had mentioned it to him once but she had never discussed this event in her life. Jason knew that she went through a lot when dealing with it, he also knew that the man that did it was never charged with raping her, so yes he wanted to hear this secret he wanted to know about this point in her short life.  
  
"When Tom raped me he also beat me up, I had bruises covering my entire body except for my face, I never understood why he never hit me in the face but I was thankful that he didn't because it made it easier to hide what had happened, my entire body ached from both the rape and from being beaten up like I was, of course it didn't match the ache in my heart from being violated like that"  
  
It made Jason cringe to think that someone had laid a finger on her in a violent way, that she had been beaten up in a way similar to how he deals with some of Sonny's enemies. He noticed that Elizabeth's posture had become stiffer when she began talking about it he knew that she has recovered from it, however it was obvious that she still did not like talking about being raped.  
  
"I had various cuts, scrapes and bruises and even after that first night I continued to turn the hot water on full blast in the shower and I generally scrubbed myself until I was red, I think that might have caused some of my bruising to last longer but I just couldn't help myself I never felt clean enough I always felt dirty, like I would never be clean again"  
  
Jason noticed that although she didn't separate herself from the event like she did with her parents, she was delaying telling him about the secret that she kept about her rape. He tried to move closer to her, to try and give her some comfort but she wouldn't allow it, Elizabeth got up from the couch and moved to stand next to the unlit fire place trying to find some nonexistent warmth, something that she could not allow herself to seek from him. Jason stayed sitting on the couch waiting for her to continue.  
  
"I was alone in the house one night, Sarah was out with Nicolas and my grandmother was still at the hospital when the thought came across my mind, I had been lying in bed crying wishing that it would all just disappear, all of the pain and the hurt, that it would all just go away, that's when the thought of killing myself came into my mind, and suddenly I stopped crying and began to seriously contemplate it, I convinced myself that no one would miss me, that all my pain would go away and so would I"  
  
Jason almost felt his heart stop when she admitted to contemplating killing herself, it scared the hell out of him, he never thought her capable to even contemplate it but she had. But mostly his heart broke for her, that she felt that lost, that broken that she thought of suicide as her only way to escape from the pain she was in. He wanted so badly to take her into her embrace and comfort her and to make sure that she was really there, but he knew that it wasn't an option, that she wouldn't allow it.  
  
"I went into my grams bathroom and searched her medicine cabinet, I eventually found a bottle that was nearly full and I began to pop the pills into my mouth one by one, I was really nervous I wasn't really sure that I wanted to do it, that's when I got really scared I dropped the bottle of pills and ran over to the toilet and forced myself to throw everything up. When I was sure that I had emptied the contents of my stomach, I started to cry again I realized just how weak I was, and I didn't want to be weak like that I wanted to be strong, to fight what he did to me to not let him have the satisfaction of taking my life. That was the night that I made the resolution to fight back, to be whole again."  
  
By the end Elizabeth had tears rolling down her face, she turned back to him praying that she wouldn't see pity in his eyes, but she didn't she only saw understanding and the comfort that she was craving, she quickly, and clumsily made her way back to the couch where she threw herself back into his embrace, and he gave it to her fully holding her tightly, wrapping himself around her as best as he could trying to protect her from everything including herself, showering the top of her head with kisses and murmuring nonsensical words of comfort until eventually she fell asleep in his arms leaving him to his own thoughts until he too drifted off into a restless sleep.  
  
TBC..  
  
Ok kind of a heavy chapter but it was something that came to me , please tell me what you thought of this chapter in particular I would really like to know. 


	6. Chapter 6

Title - Lizzie's Secrets Summary - Elizabeth tells Jason her secrets. Disclaimer - I do not own GH or its characters.  
  
Chapter 6 -  
  
Jason threw a file on his desk and quickly pushed back his chair , getting up he began to pace around the room . He was starting to wonder where Elizabeth was , she had told him that she would be home at six , but it was now seven fifteen . He briefly thought about calling Marco , who was guarding her , but thought better of it when he realized that Elizabeth would probably be angry with him for being too overprotective.  
  
Ever since Elizabeth revealed her last secret Jason could not stand to be away from her very long , he had even insisted that she move into the penthouse . It's not that he thought that she would try and hurt herself again , he knew that she was stronger than that now , no it was more that he need to reassure himself that she was really there with him and that he would never loose her . He didn't know if he could go through that again , his feelings for Elizabeth were stronger than he ever thought possible and it scared him more than he would like to admit .  
  
Jason stopped his pacing when the phone rang. It turned out to be Marco he was in the emergency room at the hospital, apparently Elizabeth had been walking on the docks when she slipped and fell on the stairs and sprained her wrist. Slamming the phone down Jason grabbed his coat from the closet and practically ran out of the penthouse.  
  
When he arrived at the hospital he immediately sought out Elizabeth where he found Marco standing outside of the curtained exam room.  
  
"Is she alright?"  
  
"Yes Mr. Morgan, it was just a sprain" Marco watched as Monica came out and told Jason that he could go in and see her.  
  
Jason moved behind the curtain and saw Elizabeth reaching for her coat with her good hand. He didn't say anything as he helped her put it on . He ran his hand over her hair and down the side of her face to cup her chin.  
  
"Are you ok?"  
  
"Yes, don't worry Jason I'm fine, really."  
  
"I know, I was just worried about you"  
  
Elizabeth smiled at him and took his hand in hers before walking out of the exam room and dismissed Marco, she turned down one of the corridors and lead Jason down the hallway.  
  
"Come on Jason I want to tell you another secret."  
  
TBC ..... 


	7. Chapter 7

Title - Lizzie's Secrets s Summary - Elizabeth tells Jason her secrets. Disclaimer - I do not own General Hospital or it's characters.  
  
A/N - I am very sorry about the lack of update, but I have been doing some traveling and I have not had anytime to write. I do hope that all of you forgive me. : )  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Jason kept Elizabeth's hand in his as they walked down the hospital corridor. He wasn't sure where she was leading him but followed her anyway. Looking down into her face he saw the raw determination written all over it so he assumed that this next secret of hers must be important to her to share with him. Gradually he began to notice that they were heading towards to maternity ward, and even though he was not involved with Courtney anymore he still thought about the child he almost had with her. Elizabeth stopped in front of the nursery and looked in at all of the babies before turning to him, she looked up at him with tears glistening in her eyes.  
  
"When I became pregnant I had so many conflicting emotions. I was happy because it was a baby, my own baby. I was nervous because I was going to be having a baby with some one that I apparently did not know at all. I was worried that I would not make a good mother because of what happened with my own parents, but in the end I was thrilled"  
  
Jason was beginning to become very uncomfortable with the topic of her unborn child, the child that she shared with Ric, he knew that he was being hypocritical but he couldn't help but feel jealous of him. Jason felt her thumb start to trace circles on the top of his hand , he found that this helped ease his insecurities. Elizabeth was with him and not Ric, just like he was no longer with Courtney.  
  
"When I would go to sleep at night laying next to Ric I would have dreams about my baby and her future, I always dreamt that my baby was a girl , she would always have brown hair that would be worn up in pig tails that would swing back and forth when she would move, but the thing that was most noticeable were her eyes, she always had her fathers eyes, big bright blue eyes. You see in my dreams you were always my baby girls father"  
  
Jason felt his breath catch in the back of his throat when she told him about her dream, he could not help but be shocked at her revelation. He looked down at her and saw the truth written on her face, she actually wanted her baby to be his. It was a feeling that he also shared, in his own way he had wished that the baby that he almost had with Courtney was Elizabeth's.  
  
"I know that it must sound crazy but it's true. I would have these dreams that we were a family. We would go for walks and we would take our daughter to school and to the park, and you would push her on the swings. I used to have these dreams even before I became pregnant, I would have the same dreams. It was so easy for me to picture myself having a family with you and when we walked away from each other all of my hopes for that future were shattered, but my dreams never stopped"  
  
Jason was becoming even more excited with every passing moment, he was beginning to realize that Elizabeth wanted the same thing that he did, that she had the same hope that he shared. Jason's hopes for their future were beginning to rise. Elizabeth pushed a lock of hair from his forehead and smiled, he knew that Elizabeth was realizing the same thing. She turned to look at the nursery once more before taking his hand again and said...  
  
"Come on lets get home"  
  
They exited the maternity ward and walked out of the hospital.  
  
TBC....  
  
Ok gonna apologize again and tell you that I hope to continue to update on a more regular basis. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. 


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